Ridiculous
by budgie-alison
Summary: (Gen) 'You hair is a mess. Just let me fix it for you,' Fili says. 'You look ridiculous.'


After checking to make sure every pony was tied securely, Fili and Kili sit down heavily on the nearest fallen log they can find. The ponies aren't in sight from where the two dwarves are sitting, but there is no one around to steal the animals.

'Maybe we should sit closer to them,' Fili says. He doesn't really want to move but he feels that, as the elder brother, he should show some kind of initiative.

Kili groans as he pulls off one of his boots. 'And sit in the wet grass? No thank you, brother. We've been riding all day, we deserve some rest.'

Fili frowns, but his aching backside gets the better of him and he begins to relax beside his brother. The log isn't comfortable, but at least here he can get some blood circulating through his legs properly. He is not built for ponies.

'This isn't how I imagined our grand adventure was going to go,' Kili says after getting his second boot off. He stretches his toes in the grass in front of him. 'I need to bathe.'

'You smell terrible.' Fili laughs. 'So do I. Your hair is a mess.'

Kili scowls. 'Don't start this again. It looks fine, Fili.'

'Just let me fix it for you,' Fili says. 'You look ridiculous.'

'I do not think anyone cares what state my hair is in, brother.'

Fili reaches for a couple of strands and Kili twists away, swatting at his brother's hand. 'Thorin will see,' Kili says. He widens his eyes as he speaks, then won't look at Fili.

'Uncle won't see. Don't be embarrassed, we do this all the time at home.'

'Yes, but no one else but Mother knows.'

'How do you think everyone else does it? You're behaving like a child. Come here, you've got knots.'

'I can do it myself.'

'You've got knots!'

Kili rolls his eyes. 'Fine. Thorin already thinks I'm a child, anyway.' He moves to sit in front of his brother. 'And now I'm sitting in the wet grass anyway. Adventures are not as glorious as they sound in the stories.'

'Stop wriggling,' Fili says as he unclips Kili's hair. 'I don't think anything is as glorious as it is in the stories, Kili.'

Kili stops wriggling for a few moments, until Fili finds a rather large knot with his comb.

'Careful!' he yelps, trying to get away.

Fili puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him. 'Alright, calm down.' He goes at the knot more gently this time, doing the tiniest bit at a time. 'I do not think Thorin thinks of you as a child. If he does, he thinks the same of both of us. We are not yet ninety.'

'At least you have a beard, Fili. I still cannot grow one.'

'Mine is not much longer than yours.'

'You do not understand. You have a moustache. You can put the family clasps on the end. At least people know what family you belong to.'

'Kili,' Fili says, rolling his eyes at his brother. 'Yours will get there and besides, our people know who you are. We are rarely seen apart.'

Kili stays silent as Fili continues to comb his hair. 'Did you climb a dozen trees while I was not looking? There appears to be a whole branch in your hair.'

'I'm sure yours is no better,' Kili says, and Fili can hear the smile in his voice. 'And I suppose you want me to fix your plaits? I know you get self-conscious, whether you admit it or not.'

Fili grins. 'Well, if there's time, you can do mine.' He frowns as he concentrates on another large knot. 'When was the last time you combed your hair?'

'When was the last time you did it for me?'

Fili shakes his head. 'Well, at any rate, hair is probably going to be the least of our worries for a long while.'

'Do you really think that Smaug is still in Erebor?'

Fili gathers up some of Kili's hair and puts it back into the clip to keep the hair out of his eyes.

'I do not know. It seems unlikely Smaug would abandon such a place.'

Kili turns around to face his brother. 'How are we supposed to defeat a dragon?'

There are a few moments of silence as Fili wonders how to respond to that question. It is one he has asked himself dozens of times and has never found the answer. 'Thorin will think of something. Now, come on. I can feel a bird's nest forming in my hair as we speak.'

They swap places and Kili roughly pulls the clip out of Fili's hair. He takes more care unravelling the various plaits and hands the tinier clips to Fili as he combs out all of the knots and twigs.

'Do you want one of these?' Fili says, holding up a clip that keeps one of his plaits in place.

Kili pauses in his combing as he takes the clip. 'No, brother.' He hands the clip back and returns to his combing. 'I have to earn them, you know that.'

'You could earn one from me,' Fili says.

'It does not work like that,' Kili says. 'But thank you, Fili.'

'When Thorin is King under the Mountain I'm sure you will have earnt a fair few of your own.'

Kili sighs. 'Can you begin to imagine Erebor? Especially when we will treated be like princes.'

'All I can think of right now is a full belly and a warm bed.' Fili winces as Kili pulls a little too hard with the comb.

'There will be plenty of both for us at our journey's end,' Kili says. He clips Fili's hair so it won't get into his eyes, and begins a plait above his brother's ear, near the temple. 'There will be feasting every night for a year, I guarantee.'

Fili laughs. 'Let us hope that the food is as glorious as it is in the stories.'

Kili clips the plait and moves onto the others, completing them swiftly. He has had much practice.

'Are you sure you don't want one clip?' Fili says as he turns around so Kili can re-do his moustaches.

'Fili, stop speaking. Your plaits will come out crooked.'

Kili's tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth and he frowns as he concentrates on getting Fili's moustache right. Fili fights the laughter and wins. Not every time is he so successful, but he knows that if he laughs Kili won't finish and then Fili will have to do them himself.

'Besides, Balin doesn't have anything in his beard or his hair, and everyone respects him,' Fili says as he sits back on the log.

'He is older than I, and has seen more battles.'

'Thorin will come to respect you, Kili. I am sure he does already, even if he does not show it.' He claps a hand on his brother's shoulder. 'Why else would he let us join his company if he did not think we would be of some use?'

Kili looks at him for a few moments, then nods once. 'Maybe so, brother.'

By now, the sun has set and it's beginning to get cold. 'Should we check on the ponies?' Fili says, drawing his coat closer to himself.

Kili puts his boots back on. He stands, lending a hand to his brother. 'Let's go have a look, then.'


End file.
